First of all...to any and all who happen to be reading this, happy new year's. I hope your 2008 didn't suck and that your 2009 is even better. I hope dreams come to fruition and goals are attained and all that you are striving for comes to you. Unless it somehow negatively affects me or other people, in which case, that is fucked up and you should hope for better things. Seriously.

As it seems is the norm for me over the past several years, it has been a year of enormous change and upheaval. The two biggest things are starting a new job and buying a house, either one of which would be huge by themselves, but I did both in the same month of the same year. Looking back I wonder if it was the smart choice, but I guess it doesn't matter because it's the choice I made and so far at least, I have survived it.

Owning a house still feels so odd. As of now, it hasn't changed my life really. Other than mortgage being more expensive than rent, it's pretty much the same as the house rental situation I was in a year ago this time. But I feel like I'm holding my breath because I am now responsible for everything alone, and the second something major (or minor for that matter) does fail on me, there is no landlord to call. There is me to fix it if I can and call/pay someone else if I can't. And trust me, I'm pretty sure I can't. So it's all great and good now...but still scary. Our backup funds are limited, and being forced to tap too far and too fast in to them could be disastrous.

On top of all that, it still feels a little weird to have a semi-permanent residence. I have been living what feels like a nomadic life for so long now. I moved out of my parents' house eight years ago, and this is the seventh domicile I have lived in since then. I am accustomed to moving nearly every year, and I don't think it has fully sunk in that this is where I am going to be for an extended period of time.

The job change was even bigger though, at least to me. I had been working remotely for my old company in Chicago since I moved to Delaware. In a lot of ways, quitting there felt like severing my last personal ties to a city that I really had loved living in. Sure, I was miserable much of my time there, and the winters were pure inner circles of Hell on Earth, but all the same I loved so much about being there. The people I met, the places to go, the culture and all the things to do and sights to see, I loved it. I have tried to keep those connections, to maintain those friendships that were so important to me for so long (with varying degrees of success), but it's hard and I feel it's a losing battle sometimes. I think a lot about my friends from Chicago, people like Chris, Rob, Dave F., Rebecca, Sandra, Gisela,  Jason, Roy, Joe G., Freddy, Susan, Rich and Sush...I miss them all tons and have not seen any of them in far too long. It sucks and I hate it, but that is life I suppose...one more aspect of life to despise.

So here we are, 22 hours, some odd minutes, and counting until an arbitrary marker, a milestone that really means nothing at all except what we make of it, and still I am nostalgic. And I really do not know if it is legitimate or because it's been impressed upon me for years that I should reminisce and look back upon 12 months of strife and love and pain and joy...but either way here I am. Nothing to gain but remembrance. Nostalgia. Looking back, reflective.